Trying to cope
- Sharon Koay
- Feb 15, 2024
- 2 min read
Exactly 3 weeks ago, my world shattered when Joshua died. Since then, I have spiraled into great despair that no one can begin to comprehend unless they have been in the same situation too.
I found an online support group for people just like me, who sadly are all living the same nightmare. This group provides a safe environment for people to share their experiences, and deepest thoughts and emotions.
Here, everyone leans on each other for comfort and support. Here, I am allowed to grieve the way I want, to vent, to lament - and I'm never judged because everyone understands.
Here, I take heed to the group's advice, as they have all gone through what I am going through now:
To journal my feelings and thoughts, some of which I share here on my blog. This has helped me quite a bit as I am unable to talk about what and how I am feeling to anyone.
To read books that have helped others cope. I have finished one, and am midway through another. It is taking longer than normal for me to read due to the brain fog I have, but what I have read and understood so far, has helped somewhat.
And the biggest step, to seek professional medical help.
Seeking professional medical help for myself was the last thing on my mind, but I acknowledge the fact that my younger son, Caleb, needs a functioning mother - and I haven't been that for him since Joshua's death.
With that in mind, I made an appointment with a psychiatrist yesterday, and was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). If left untreated, PTSD could (if it hasn't already) lead to depression. I was prescribed medication and therapy - both of which I did not want.
However, if I were to continue on the way I have been for the last 3 weeks, I was told that I may suffer memory lapses and loss (which I have started to experience), and worst case scenario - early dementia.
I never want to lose my memories of Joshua, and I do want to be a good mother for Caleb - and so I decided to fully commit to the treatment plan.
I don't know what's to come, but for the moment, I'm just trying to cope hour by hour, day by day.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
- Matthew 6:34
Yet another Omega! Y'all had serious feelings on this story. Omega developed a new dial coloration technique link utilizing either PVD or CVD, depending on the color option, and dropped a whole link suite of new color alternatives in the Aqua Terra, the brand's go-to option for everyday wear. I've yet to see any of these in person, but I link can't stop looking at the Terracotta dial, myself.
The Grand Seiko Elegance SBGW262. 39mm x 11.6mm yellow gold case water resistant to 30 meters. Black urushi lacquer dial with markers and numerals made from link raised maki-e in platinum or link 24-karat gold powder. Manually wound Grand Seiko Cal. 9S64 running at 28,800 vph (4Hz) with 72 hours of power link reserve, rated to +5/-3 seconds when static. Black crocodile leather strap with gold pin buckle. Retail price: $30,000.For more, visit Grand Seiko.
What adds another, almost link deeper stratum of complexity to the watch is the use of a flying tourbillon complication. Flying tourbillons are normally seen through aperture windows made link in the dial. Here, the 60-second tourbillon sits above the dial on link top of a vertically-stacked movement structure. Affixed to the top of the upper tourbillon cage is a single paraiba that rotates simultaneously with the tourbillon.
A gem-set release from Le Brassus always link feels like a special occasion. One of those events that has about zero relevance to my actual reality link but is still spiritually important. Like a royal wedding, or, if we were living back in the 1900s, a high society debutante ball. Regal and shiny and fun to look at. A little link beacon of hope for me to latch myself onto.
Brand: TudorModel: Pelagos link FXD Chrono "Cycling Edition"Reference Number: 25827KNDiameter: 43mmThickness: 14.4mmLug-to-lug: 53mmCase Material: Black carbon compositeDial Color: Black/redIndexes: AppliedLume: YesWater link Resistance: 100 metersStrap/Bracelet: A link Black single-piece fabric strap with a pin-buckle